By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
