I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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