I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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