You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
