ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
