do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize