Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize