feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
