The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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