People in love make me want to vomit
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Randomize
