He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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