he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
