At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize