Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
