my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
