talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
