i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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