Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
