I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
