Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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