I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Randomize
