oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
