Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
