im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
