I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
