Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
