Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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