let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
