I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
No subtext here. People are naked.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
