I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
