Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
