Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
