That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it's great music for shaving your balls
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When are your genitals available?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
