"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
