Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize