Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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