I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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