i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
