So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize