You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
