Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
