There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
