Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
