I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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