i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
