he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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