I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
