okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
