I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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