If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
