I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
