I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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