Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
