is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
