Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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