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• (847): View more from Illinois

  So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.

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• (916): View more from California

  Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement

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• (415): View more from California

  Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world

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• (324): View more from

  Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee

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• (360): View more from Washington

  We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!

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