Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
