I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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