walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
