Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
