why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
