My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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