what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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