i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
