just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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