Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize