I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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