Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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