oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
