Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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